WE ARE NOT VEGETABLES

A stupor has settled over the school. Some blame the early rising hour while other blame the bits of grey matter dripping out of students ears. Whatever the reason, students are now only vaguely distinguishable from vegetables. In fact, a stalk of celery was given three detentions for sleeping in class before any one realized that it was not actually a student. In another disturbing report a student was dragged to the cafeteria to be boiled before the cafeteria staff realized that he was not a string bean. What ever the cause of these disturbing reports something must be done.